I said, “I’ll take the T-bone steak.”A soft voice mooed, “Oh wow.”And I looked up and realizedThe waitress was a cow.I cried, “Mistake—forget the the steak.I’ll take the chicken then.”I heard a cluck—’twas just my luckThe busboy was a hen.I…
Policeman, policeman,Help me please.Someone went and stole my knees.I’d chase him down but I suspectMy feet and legs just won’t connect.
Did you hear bout Stacy brown (no we didn’t but we’d like to)He had every chick in town (no he didn’t but he tried to)He had looks he had class do anything to get a little lassAnd everyone would shout…
Big Barney Fitch, he got soddenly richHe got a big fancy house in MelbourneWith buckets of loot and big black leather bootsActing so haughty and well-born But we of Australia, we’re children of convictsAnd some of us wear it quite…
I remember I put on my socks,I remember I put on my shoes.I remember I put on my tieThat was paintedIn beautiful purples and blues.I remember I put on my coat,To look perfectly grand at the dance,Yet I fell there…
Someone ate the baby it’s rather sad to saySomeone ate the baby so she won’t be out to playWe’ll never hear her whiney cry or have to feel if she is dryWe’ll never hear her asking why why why someone…
Well I’ve told you someday I’d have a lotta moneyAnd you would see me grinnin’ from ear to earLook in my pocket this ain’t gabbage that I’m foldin’ babyOh oh someday’s hereAnd I told you someday I’ll come driving up…
I’m haulin’ twenty tons of freight into New York stateStarted thinkin’ bout Mary JaneShe lived over the hill I had an hour to kill I thought I’d get in out of the rainOh my she looked so fine had a…
Somebody has to go polish the stars,They’re looking a little bit dull.Somebody has to go polish the stars,For the eagles and starlings and gullsHave all been complaining they’re tarnished and worn,They say they want new ones we cannot afford.So please…
I made myself a snowballAs perfect as could be.I thought I’d keep it as a petAnd let it sleep with me.I made it some pajamasAnd a pillow for its head.Then last night it ran away,But first it wet the bed.
