Last night, while I lay thinking here,some Whatifs crawled inside my earand pranced and partied all night longand sang their same old Whatif song:Whatif I’m dumb in school?Whatif they’ve closed the swimming pool?Whatif I get beat up?Whatif there’s poison in…
Birds are flyin’ south for winter.Here’s the Weird-Bird headin’ north,Wings a-flappin’, beak a-chatterin’,Cold head bobbin’ back ‘n’ forth.He says, “It’s not that I like iceOr freezin’ winds and snowy ground.It’s just sometimes it’s kind of niceTo be the only bird…
I thought that I had wavy hairUntil I shaved. Instead,I find that I have straight hairAnd a very wavy head.
Someone put their baby brotherUnder this basket—The question is exactly why,But I’m not going to ask it.But someone, I ain’t sayin’ who,Has got a guilty face,Ashamed for lettin’ such a lovely brotherGo to waste.
Inside everybody’s noseThere lives a shar-toothed snail.So if youi stick your finger in,He may bite off your nail.Stick it farther up inside,And he may bite your ring off.Stick it all the way, and heMay bite the whole darn thing off!
Eat a tomato and you’ll turn red(I don’t think that’s really so);Eat a carrot and you’ll turn orange(Still and all, you never know);Eat some spinach and you’ll turn green(I’m not saying that it’s trueBut that’s what I heard, and soI…
Fell asleep last night with the TV on,Oh, what a dream I had.Dreamed I went and answered ev’ry singleOne of those late night mail order ads.Then four to six weeks later,Much to my surprise,The mailman came to my front doorAnd…
Handsome guys get girls that are prettyOther guys make it cause they’re clever and wittyBut the only love I ever got I got out of pity cause I’m the ugliest man in townYeah I drive down the street in a…
He’s the Twistable Turnable Squeezable PullableStretchable Foldable Man.He can crawl in your pocket or fit your locketOr screw himself into a twenty-volt socket,Or stretch himself up to the steeple or taller,Or squeeze himself into a thimble or smaller,Yes he can,…
Only ate one drumstickAt the picnic dance this summer,Just one little drumstick—They say I couldn’t be dumber.One tough and skinny drumstick,Why was that such a bummer?But everybody’s mad at me,Especially the drummer.
