Girlfriend

   March 27, 1990

It's almost a year and I still 
can't deal with you 
not being
at the end of the line.

I read your name in memorial poems 
and think they must be insane
mistaken  malicious
in terrible error
just plain wrong

not that there haven't been times before
months passing  madly  sadly
we not speaking
   get off my case, will you please? 
   oh, just lighten up!

But I can't get you out 
of my air  my spirit
my special hotline phone book
is this what it means to live 
forever  when will I
not miss picking up the receiver 
after a pregnancy of silence 
one of us born again
with a brand-new address or poem 
miffed
because the other doesn't jump 
at the sound
of her beloved voice?